Count Binface has promised to introduce national service for former prime ministers and invite European countries to join the UK in his newly released manifesto ahead of the General Election.
The self-described intergalactic space warrior released his 24-point manifesto in a bid to unseat Prime Minister Rishi Sunak in his North Yorkshire constituency.
Binface, the satirical political character created by comedian Jonathan David Harvey, is hoping to strike a chord with voters by promising that pensions will be double-locked but with a little extra chain on the side, Claudia Winkleman鈥檚 fringe will be Grade-1 listed, and he will represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest, if elected.
Count Binface told the PA news agency that his election manifesto is entitled 鈥淏loody Loyal To Wherever I鈥檓 Standing For Election鈥.
He said: 鈥淚t is a bold and bracing programme fit to bursting with sensible policies that mix the local, the national and the intergalactic.
The Count took aim at the elite with several of his promises, including pledging that, if elected, 鈥渁ll water bosses (will) take a dip in British rivers to see how they like it鈥 and national service will be introduced for former prime ministers.
Other flagship policies include inviting European countries to join the UK in order to create a new 鈥淯nion of Europe鈥, and offering stilts to all British citizens to help cope with the effects of climate change.
While the quirky candidate made some new promises, previous pledges remain, including to build 鈥渁t least one affordable house鈥 and to price cap croissants at 拢1.10.
The self-described 5,702-year-old Recyclon has promised to fight loud noises in public spaces, pledging to ban loud snacks from cinemas and theatres as well as banning speaker phones on public transport, with punishment for the latter offence being forced habitation with Matt Hancock for a year.
The election hopeful said he wants to see the reintroduction of Ceefax, the world鈥檚 first teletext information service, and ensure that Children in Need 鈥渇inally get round鈥 to fixing Pudsey鈥檚 eye.
Improving train services was a central focus of Count Binface鈥檚 manifesto, as he promises to provide 鈥渢rains that work鈥 and 鈥淲iFi on trains that work鈥.
He also promised to tackle an issue of importance in the local area, pledging that traffic on Northallerton High Street will be fixed by a new space bridge, bypassing both level crossings.
Looking beyond his constituency, the Count pledged that the hand dryer in the gents鈥 urinals at the Crown & Treaty in Uxbridge, west London, will be moved to 鈥渁 more sensible position鈥.
He also pledged that it would be mandatory for MPs to live in the area they wish to serve in for four years before election to improve local representation.
Speaking with PA earlier in June, Count Binface said his motivations for running were 鈥渁 mixture of being at a loose end, being a huge fan of British democracy鈥 and his 鈥渉umble ambitions to conquer the entire omniverse鈥.
